Revelation 4: In Retrospect

15,000 people.

More than 100km drive away.

The Biggest outdoor rave party of the year.

All fucked up because the "local authorities" suddenly wanted it to end at 1am.

What's the point of getting a permit, then? And for fucks sake, it was on private property, miles away from anything close to being residential.

Fucked up. That's all I'm gonna say. Fucked up.

Thoughts of an Insomniac

It's 1.40am, and I still cant sleep.

I've been having trouble sleeping for the past 2 weeks. But I still cant put a finger on why.

Someone close to me has been saying that I think too much. I'm finally starting to think she's right.

But my thoughts have been random, so it's hard to pinpoint my source of distress.

I think about my late mother, her life, her pains, her sacrifices, and ultimately her absence in my life. It's been almost 6 years since she past on, but I guess I have to admit it; the pain of her loss is still strong in me. And since she died at the age of 39 (which I'm sure you will agree is a much too young of an age to die of cardiac arrest), I cant help but feel that life really does have to be lived to the fullest.

I think about my two siblings back home. I miss them, and I feel a certain degree of guilt that I had to leave for KL to work. I feel guilty for not being there for them (as a brother and as a friend).

I think about my father as well, and the ups and downs we've gone through life, as father and son. I remember the turbulent times we had when I was that problematic teenager. I remember him silently crying in the nights after the passing of my mother. I think about how we have grown together as son and father to what we are now, true lifelong friends. But I also see his pain, and his fatigue from all the punches that life has swung at him. And yet the old man trudges along as if nothing can stop him. And that's what worries me; I don't know if I could ever display the resolve, the resilience that he has had throughout life.

I think about the rest of my family, my relatives. I'm angry at my grandmother, and aunt's & uncles. I am angry because they lied to us. I am angry because they proved the saying "Blood is thicker than water" wrong. They were my mothers family, but what did they do to help us after mom had gone? All the managed to do was cry and take some of mom's things. And they left it at that. We were in a shit hole of a rut, and they all knew it. We went through 2 years of living in an unfinished house with no electricity, and no municipal water. And all they were concerned about was mom's gold. Why couldn't they help us instead. Where is that gold now, I ask? I sincerely thought that out of all people, they were the ones that were going to give us a helping hand. But in the end, help came from other people.

I will never forget. I will never forget. I will never forget.

I think about myself, and where I am now. Life has taken it's fair share of punches on me. And to be really honest, I don't think I faired very well. And I'm not proud of it. I think about all those ambitions, those dreams I had. And how life (or sometimes myself) fucked them away.

I'm going to be 29 soon. And I don't know where this journey called life is taking me.

Maybe that's why I cant sleep.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I've not gone out clubbing for the last one month... :-)

Soul Searching

I havent blogged in ages. I know.

I guess I've been busy trying to find my place in the world. That might sound really cheesy to some, but at times, people do have to go through this phase.

In fact, I guess I've been doing ever since I got here (KL). Maybe this blog was part of it. (Identity Crisis, duh!!) Unfortunately, at this moment in time, I dont have anything to blog about. Not just yet. Lets just say I dont know what to tell u guys right now.

In a nutshell, the past couple of months saw major changes in my life. New friends (that became real friends). Old friends that just drift away. So many stories. But I dont know if u want to read about them.

Maybe I just dont have the inspiration to blog. Not just yet. Not just yet.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's" Your Personality Type?

Strange. True, to an extent, I must say. But strange nonetheless. Shrink I am definately not. I didnt exactly get an A in art class. And I guess I dont write enough to qualify as a writer. Maybe soon... :-)

For The Time Being...

Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender (DJ Tiesto Mix)

I'm Sorry

Happy belated Gawai to all.

Forgive me, for i have been much too busy to blog lately. In fact, I miss blogging.

However, make no mistake, I will be back soon.

Tiesto In Sepang - A Video Recap

I'm kind of lazy to write about the Tiesto concert in Sepang last March. So for now, I've decided to put up some video clip of the event the was taken by other ravers at the scene.

5 hours non-stop trance.

18,000 people (As reported by The Star).

Awesome.



Here's another one. You can almost feel the bass.



Finally, here's a music video of "Love Comes Again" by DJ Tiesto, just so that some of you can familiarize yourselves with his music.